Sunday, February 12, 2012

I didnt want to say it....

but maybe Ive got a bit of the old addictive personality too!

I thought that was reserved for my kids courtesy of their father. (All bad habits come from dad of course!)

But recently Ive found some consolation in the odd glass of wine or two. It dulls the stress and realities, sharpens the concentration and focus and relaxes the stress of everyday realities.

Bradley has also started smoking (at the age of 16), a reality that he vehemently denies. But every time he goes to 'shower' there is that distinctive smell of cigarette smoke wafting from the bathroom.
I have never smoked, can't stand the thought but wine is my consolation at the moment. It doesn't matter what type of wine. Any box wine will do. I don't deny myself. Marco buys it, I drink it. I need the distraction at the moment. But I am fully cognisant of my need for this substance. Obviously addiction is a mind thing and I am in tune with the desires of my mind (and body). Even if I really think I need a glass of wine, I question the validity of that need in my mind.

But I don't restrict myself. If i need a glass of wine, I give myself a glass of wine or two or three. (Three's my limit, by the way. I do still need to function!!)

Its interesting to discover what your particular Achilles Heel is, what your particular addiction is..

Maybe this discovery about myself is an important learning curve in the understanding of others.


  1. I have to admit that the kids drive me to w e regularly

  2. Glad to know I'm not alone in this, Cat!

  3. My addiction is chocolate for sure. I have "quit" now for about 2 weeks but hell, I crave it everyday!!!!

  4. My weakness is knowing that I get angry with people and events even when it's not worth it. I know that but I still do. I should walk away but I can't {or don't}. Your last line is especially good. Wine {red} is good for the heart too.

  5. Lulu - Im with you on the chocolate. I love it too. Spoil yourself every now and then but dont allow it to control you. I usually buy myself a big slab (200g) about once a month and polish that off.

    Griever - Its awareness of your weakness which will eventually help you defeat it. The voice inside will lead you and at the moment you are disobeying it. But when you decide to defeat it, you will listen to that little voice of reason. Its easy to say I dont have addictions when you dont smoke, take drugs or drink but anything can be an addiction, as you say, anger, eating, even self-pity!

  6. LOL...this post had me giggling....and no, it is not because I like wine! It is just the way you put it. My father was an alcoholic and that put me off booze for life. I prefer chocolates...but then all things crafty also gets me going for my purse.

  7. Lynette - I can imagine the heartbreak of living with an alcoholic parent would be enough to put you off alcohol for ever. Glad you enjoyed the post though. I'm a knitter and placing me in a colourful well-stocked reasonably priced wool shop is an invitation to spend spend spend. My last visit I managed to get out with 4 x 100g balls of wool, only 1 of which was the colour I actually went there for.

  8. I personally didn't see anything anyone wrote that is destructive. Even anger is justified when it rises [unless you are just an always pissed of person} all of these things, anger chocolate wine in moderation, knitting or crafting are how we decompress. I think there are many more people out there who are "running the show" who would be wise to learn to knit and spend their time making mile wide afghans, just to keep themselves(and us) from trouble.

    Remember your word for the year Momcat--POSITIVE. It is a good word, a strong word and one that eventually can seep through every pore of your being.

    We'd never recognize the wonderful taste of peace, chocolate or accomplishment if we didn't know the taste of crap. Throw a bit of kindness into the mix and what is merely good becomes wondrous.

    Be Well


  9. Walking Man - Wow, what inspirational words! Ive been starting to repeat the word 'Positive' to myself over and over again, like a Mantra to focus my mind on being positive. Thank you.

  10. I also started smoking as a teen and thought I hid it quite well, but I wish my parents had actually realised and stopped me before it became a habit, but I woulda dont it anyways regardless of what they had said, so I guess he'll realise how stupid and unhealthy it is one day and hopefully stop.

    A glass of wine after work goes down really well some days :)

  11. Anonymous - I hope so too but I dont hold out much hope of him stopping. Ive been through this already twice over and teens always think they know best. Im refusing to buy them for him but he usually manages to find some...

  12. I started to smoke at age 12, and in those days it was quite 'normal'. I recall smoking a cigarette called a JOYSTICK. These were much longer than standard fags, twice as long I guess. I was showing off at Saturday morning cinema for kids by deliberately walking across the floor in front of the screen with this long stick of cancer stuck in my mouth! Kids, eh?
    When I was on a train, aged nearly 17 with my first girl-friend I lit up a Turkish ciggy and a military-looking old boy said to me: "When you're OLD enough to smoke, for god's sake smoke something decent!"
    Talk about being made to feel small. I felt like an idiot, and rightly so. Those Turkish fags were really 'different' from the norm.

  13. Philip - Kids seem to start smoking to look cool and bigstuff in front of their friends. But its a lonely (and expensive) habit to live with when all your friends have moved on. I can imagine how strong and smelly your Turkish fags were!