Who cares?

My weekend was a strange mixture of relaxed and depressed. I was supposed to go to the dam with my sister and her man. I ended up standing in queues - bank and supermarket and they left me behind. Bradley was with them. Wisely, he had walked to their house fairly early in the morning. I packed away my braai meat, my rolls, my cold drink and my crisps and settled down for an afternoon of aloneness. I tidied the house, made lunch, watched tv then I went out and cut some bushes and then watched some more tv. Dael was jaunting with his buddy only returned briefly to change his clothes and then go clubbing. Returned again at 1am on Sunday to eat and then went back to the club until 4am. I was fine - I had relaxed. Bradley had not returned home, opting to spend the night at my sister.

On Sunday, I turned 44! Dael was sleeping on the couch. I washed dishes, fed the cats, hung washing, watched tv and I was fine. Dael had wanted me to wake him before 9am. I tried. And again at 9.30am. Again at 10am. 11am. He would open his eyes and fall back to sleep. His friend C arrived on his bike at 12pm. Dael awoke, blamed me for not waking him up earlier. He raised his voice to me and I started to get depressed (and tearful). He fetched his gift to me - a cd/dvd combo (The Parlotones) (unwrapped and with the price still on), dumped it on the kitchen counter, muttered Happy Birthday and made coffee for himself. I went to the bathroom. I stayed there for some time. Bradley didn't return home on Sunday. He doesn't even know I had a birthday.

Eventually my daughter phoned from Cape Town. She was also tearful but she was reacting to me and she is also emotional when she is tired (also clubbing). My dad phoned and sang happy birthday to me. My mom was singing in the background. I bathed and dressed. Dael went out with C. My dad phoned again, "Happy Birthday to you... (singing) Oh no, I already did that!" (laughing, acting goofy). Hurry up, Mom's got burgers for lunch.

Mom had laid the table al fresco. She had a little box of chocolates and a card with some cash. I had already bought a pair of shoes to the value of their gift and I took these with me to show them what I had bought from them. They approved. We ate lunch. Joking. Relaxed. My depression lifting somewhat. We went out in the car together, mom, dad, brother and sister. We went to a coffee shop and shared cheesecake. Thanks family. I went home. Dael was there. I hugged him, thanked him for my gift. He also like the music. We put on the dvd and we watched together.

Very emotional day - little things mean a lot - good and bad. I got through it.