Dael and his friend who is staying with us, 'S' had walked uphill to the suburb where 'S' normally stays with his mom and his mother's employer, and also close to where I work. His mom is a domestic worker and lives on the premises of her employer. He wanted to get some clean clothes and try to get some money from her as a 'deposit' against renting my outside room. Apparently they had a long conversation (read: lecture/argument) in which the mom stated that if 'S' is staying with me he must be able to pay me himself or otherwise go back and stay with her. She had given money to his sister and had nothing left. If he goes back he lives on his mom's employer's charity and gets lectured by the employer too.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I had picked Bradley up from school and returned to work. At 3.00pm in the afternoon it is still very hot. When we left again at 5pm, I noticed a wet patch under the car and opened the bonnet. It is oil leaking.
I found out all this after I had picked them up on my way through the area on the way home. I was stressed about the car and the fact that funds are running dangerously low for the month to just feed myself, 3 boys and the animals and I also started lecturing, mainly about how I didn't think him mom was playing fair. I probably said some things that weren't very nice and both boys feelings were hurt. Dael came and told me viciously that he had told 'S' to come back down to my house with him, that it would be alright because he just doesn't want to stay where his mother works anymore, he had already had a routing from his mom and now I had given them one. Dael threw his clothes in his bag and walked out. 'S' was lying in the room on the bed, all depressed and I made him go and look for Dael. Now I felt bad as well but at no time have I been consulted by Dael as to my ability to absorb an extra person into the equation, which includes food, transport and use of utilities. These kids don't seem to live in a real world. They think everything happens by magic.
They ended up sitting in the broken car which is still sitting at the bottom of the driveway (what accommodating neighbours I have!) but eventually Dael came up and I spoke to him. We discussed the whole situation, he went down again and then both boys came up. 'S' was downcast and as he walked past me he told me that he would leave the next day and would find money to pay me for the time he has spent there. Now I felt bad. Really the situations I get thrust into. I hugged him, made him look at me as I was talking to him, made him understand that both he and Dael needed to understand the situation we are in. I wasn't telling him to leave but I didn't know how we were going to make it. As it is I am going to have to try and borrow money from my brother until the end of the month. 'S' was tearful, stiff as I hugged him and uncomfortable with his emotions. He went straight to the room, not eating supper.
Dael sat with me in the lounge and still ate some supper, not talking much though. They were both sleeping when I left this morning but on mxit this morning, Dael has a very negative status message about being over life and not being around much longer. Friend 'S' has a message about words hurting more than blows.
I feel bad about the whole situation but I also wish I had the luxury of being able to play the blame game. In fact I probably could blame the economy for the constantly rising prices, my employers for not paying me more, my ex-husband for not being able to support his children, any number of culprits but I just don't have the lack of maturity required to blame other people or circumstances for my situation today. I might say it when I'm having a rant but deep inside I feel that its my responsibility to change my circumstances, in respect of getting a better job etc, and the timing of God in allowing us to go through circumstances for whatever purpose, maybe to teach me to lean on Him a lot more or to be accepting of what life brings and to trust Him to answer prayer.
Also on a rather sad note, I had contacted Robynne after a long period of staying out of her way after the Christmas/New Year drama. I felt it would be alright to renew contact and I needed her to contact her friend in KZN to help Dael get his car up the driveway. The very next day she was embroiled in a drama of her own. Her littlest bunny, Hoppie had hurt her eye badly. The eyeball had a deep scratch from a piece of wire or a stick and she had rushed her to the vet. Unfortunately, Hoppie had to have her eye removed and is still at the vet. Robynne is very upset about her little baby and on top of that the operation and vet care is going to cost her a lot of money too. Such a nasty thing to happen just as she has finally settled into her new home. It is just one of many drama's that go to making us stronger people who are able to cope with a lot. But very unfortunate. Sorry Robynne and Hoppie.