Monday, February 22, 2010

Just one more day.....

Do you ever have the feeling that if you can just carry on for one more day, just hold on for one more day....things will come right! I am sitting here with the most surreal feeling of...not peace exactly but maybe acceptance in the midst of chaos. Apart from world wide chaos, from earthquakes in Haiti to major mudslides in Madeira, there is hardship closer to home too. Who of us don't know someone who has lost their income or their home, someone fighting illness. And we question God...why have You allowed this? Knowing the propensity of mankind toward evil and destruction, I suppose we could ask God - why have You allowed us to carry on destroying this earth and each other for so long without dealing with us?
Be that as it may, I am discovering that the more days that I deal with hardship, worrying about my car and how long I will still have the use of it, worrying about how to feed my children and my animals, the more it feels like the natural order of things. Do I allow my circumstances to dictate the person that I will be or will become. Do I fall into self-pity or self-loathing because of my circumstances. I accept that possessions are temporary and I cannot base my self-worth on such unstable items but still our home is the place where we have the freedom to be ourself. Our vehicles are the means by which we gain our independence.
'A fool and his money are easily parted'. I am not easily parted from my money. I am always careful with the money I have left over...after all the credit cards and loans and debit orders have been paid. But where did all these insidious debts come from. School stationery, vet visit for one of the animals, not impulse purchases. I am determined to gain control over these debts. I will not be a statistic. I will not give in.
Every minute that I drive my car, the old lady, I am planning for the time that I will be walking and how I will accomplish my daily routine without a vehicle. I have faced up to the 'worst' - divorce, retrenchment, being 'fired'....and lived to tell the tale. Now I have to face up to not having a job or a car and still being the person that I am. And I will succeed with this. Even if I don't have a car or a house, I will still be a driver and a homeowner because its a mindset. If you have a mindset to be a driver you will save or plan ahead to own a car. The same with your home. Or education. In fact anything. As soon as you face up to the possibility of something happening, be it good or bad, you can begin to put a plan of action to cope into place.
Its funny how material objects can so overwhelm us with their presence that we forget that we were here, were in existence, before any of these items were. My kids have to have a cell phone, a hi fi, a playstation. Just a few years ago we grew up without these items and even without tv. It is possible to exist without the accumulation of belongings. In fact it is better to do so. It sets free the imagination, and your very relationship with the universe.
The more belongings and clutter you accumulate, the wider the gap of separation from your connection with the universe.

8 comments:

  1. Those are very wise words indeed!

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  2. Very wise! Good luck I hope that you don't end up without a home, car or job!! xxxxxx

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  3. You have just blown me away with your attitude towards what is happening around you...way to go! What defines YOU is not what you own or earn. Thank you for reminding us all that it is just grace that keeps us from losing every earthly possession we have.

    xx

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  4. I think it is so much harder when you have kids. When my kids were little my husband got hurt on a construction job and it led to him not being able to work for an extended time, surgery, us going broke, getting into debt, but the kids were little. When they are older and wanting what everyone else has it is so hard to teach them the value of a simple life. The lesson that we don't *need* what everyone else has. If it were just us by ourselves we could live with very little and be quite content.

    You are brave my dear and my heart goes out to you. Keep being strong.

    Thank you for all of your wonderful comments on my blog too. Very very much appreciated.

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  5. A very true and insightful post. I understand what you are saying, i've been through much the same. Thank you also for the lovely comment to me, again, so very wise.
    lori

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  6. What sort of a job are you looking for? And does it have to be in Dbn?

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  7. Cat - Sometimes talking wisdom helps me to act wisely too.

    Lulu - I trust that I won't be in that situation.

    Lynette - It truly is grace and God's provision each and every day.

    Annette - Thank you and ongoing strength to you too.

    Lori ann - I think many of us go through these and worse hardships. We help each other through.

    Tamara - I was already looking prior to this decision by the company. I have always been involved in admin. I own a house here and my parents are here so I would prefer not to relocate. Also my vehicle is elderly so it can't really travel far.

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  8. What you've said here is very astute! Yes, we can do without many things we take for granted as "necessary".

    And your frame of mind is HUGE towards what you expect from life...I don't believe it's wise to tell yourself you'll never have something...or you probably won't.

    Tell yourself you deserve certain things and they're the priority.

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